


Please Don't Jump (It's Christmas)

by goodnightcomet



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, I'm bad at tagging things, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Oop, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 04:43:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13092651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodnightcomet/pseuds/goodnightcomet
Summary: Dan and Phil are away to visit their families for the Christmas holiday. Phil had trouble sleeping one particular night, so at 1 A.M., he grabbed his journal and started writing away.





	Please Don't Jump (It's Christmas)

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: If you didn't read the tags, there are mentions of suicide in this story. If you're sensitive or easily offended by that kind of thing, kindly click off this story. Thank you <3

December 25, 2017; 1 A.M.

 

Sometimes I Iie in bed, stare at the wall and just think. I can't help but wander into the depths of my mind. I remember the first time when we laid together on my bed. It was back in 2009. We would chat for hours on end, talking about nothing and everything. I mean, we still do that, but 2009 was a special time. We would talk for so long that the only time we would stop was when the sun was starting to rise. 

When we first moved in together, you would always come into my room and chat. I found it very comforting, and I found myself slowly falling more and more in love with you. And we would do the thing again; the thing in which we would lie on my bed and just talk the night away. 

We've been together for 8 years, yet something you said had stuck with me all these years. I couldn't forget the words you said on one particular night.

It was 1 A.M. We were snuggled together, my hands entangled in your soft chocolate brown hair. You turned to me and said:

 

"I read something online where someone interviewed people who survived their suicide attempts from jumping off of a bridge. Well, I don't really know; don't quote me on that. Anyways, they claimed that they immediately regretted jumping. So if I were to jump off a bridge and die, the last thing I'd feel is regret. Well, /technically/ the last thing I'd feel is pain, but emotionally speaking, regret is the last thing I would ever feel. That's /terrifying/."

 

I don't know what made you think that, but it was 1 A.M., so it was understandable. I remember getting really concerned for you. You shouldn't be thinking such horrible thoughts. I remember that I hugged you so tight that night and said:

 

"Please don't jump."

 

I'm so glad I helped you through your toughest times. I watched you grow and mature, which resulted in me doing so as well. I also can't believe that you grew taller than me! I'll be forever salty about that.

Fast forward to the time I'm currently writing this while on a visit to my family for Christmas, miles away from you. I know I'll see you again very very soon, but I still miss you. Here I am, writing my own 1 A.M. thoughts into this journal. It sounds like I'm writing a letter to you, but I'm just writing down my thoughts and feelings in a small leather book. It puts me at ease pretending that I'm writing to you; I don't know why. It's oddly comforting. /You're/ comforting. You're like home. Wait, scratch that. You /are/ home.

Thank you for everything. I love you, Dan. Merry Christmas.


End file.
